Please, Please, Please Beat These Guys

To my cousin Chris (and all other Laker fans):

Now that the Jazz are done for the year, (pause for a moment of silence), it is time to move on. The playoffs should be very interesting, and I think David Stern will get his dream - a Lakers v. Celtics NBA finals. That being said, I have two thoughts:

1 - When the Lakers win the title, championship rings must be sent to David Stern, for allowing the trade with Memphis to go through even though it violated NBA trade standards, Memphis GM Chris Wallace for giving you Pau Gasol for NOTHING, and Larry Miller, for being dumb enough to be duped by Derek Fisher. Without the aid of these three, the Lakers would not have gotten anywhere near the Conference Finals this year. I realize this sounds a bit like sour grapes, and it probably is. But the fact remains that the Lakers run this year is due largely to the largess of people outside the organization.

2 - Please, for the love of all that makes basketball the most holiest of sports, you guys MUST defeat the Spurs. With all the evil organizations in the world (Al Qaeda, North Korea, Iran, and the Spurs) we must stem the tide now and get a victory for the good guys. I am to the point where I would rather stab myself in the eye with a fork than watch the Spurs play in the Finals, or, heaven forbid, win another title. (If it was not already past the trading deadline I would suggest that we have Deron Williams fabricate some story about his mother's health that would allow him to be released from his contract and join the Lakers so that he could help you in your quest). As much as I was cheering against the Lakers in the last series I am cheering for them now. May the force be with you!

Who's with me?